The saying can't be more right for me. I am now ensconced in the Netherlands. Have to admit that I feel far far better than I ever felt away from home. Eindhoven is a lively, beautiful city that casts a friendly net on its inhabitants. It is so much easier to live (peacefully) than it ever was in Stuttgart.
But with every passing day I crave for my own. My family, my homeland, my people, my way of life. On some days the distance crosses my mind, lingers on and drifts away. On others, and these are not necessarily the bad days, it fills me up and refuses to go away. My heart aches, the eyes swell up and my legs look for support.
Moving abroad seemed an exciting prospect when it was proposed. It would give my husband the much needed career fillip and international exposure, an investment for a better future. It was a 'head' decision. Economics simply outweighed any other parameter in the decision making process. But when we began life afresh on the new soil, it has always been the heart, thrashing about for attention, clamouring for its rightful position, shouting out bloody neglect.
We moved from Germany to the Netherlands for better prospects - an international school, lower language barriers, better housing. But what hasn't changed is the constant longing for home. If I may say so, it has only increased.
People tell me if I stay here long enough, the heartache will reduce and I will get more comfortable. Time heals everything, I know that. But then time simply makes the ordeal less unpleasant, trying to smooth out wrinkles but it never takes away the pain completely.
I am simply not the one to live with this heartache. Perhaps I am just not made for foreign shores.
I'm hardly settled here but I can't wait to start packing and move back to India! Please let the sun rise on that day soon soon soon!
