I walked into our local supermarket the other day, picked up the basket, brought up my 'list' on the mobile and began to pile in the groceries. It took me a while to realise (and fathom) that a tall, Dutch man was sort of looking at me. Later, I was evaluating breakfast cereals when he came up, excused himself, brought a box down from the top shelf and then, hold your breath, flashed me the sweetest smile. I returned it, unsure of what was happening. I had to appear composed and hide the blush that I was worried was appearing on my face.
I moved to the dairy section and the same thing happened. The man was flirting! Gaawwd. Can it still happen to me? Dressed in a casual tee, dirty sneakers, no make-up? To a five foot one inch Indian woman in her mid-thirties? I felt like clapping my hands in glee; with the discovery that I still had it in me! Hilarious, I told myself. Enough, my conscience opposed. The man appears far older. He's not even that good looking. And probably desperate. Is that so flattering after all? Suddenly I didn't know where to look.
I checked out, got back home still flushed, sat myself down with a glass of water and laughed. I remembered a similar incident a couple of years ago. We'd recently moved to Germany and on one of our earliest travels within the country, I took my daughter to a bakery to buy a doughnut. The young Sri Lankan man behind the counter flirted with me brazenly even with the kid in my arms. I walked back to my husband shaking my head, and reported what had happened, wondering how he would react. Would he be angry with the Sri Lankan? See the man's nerves, I added, just to make my position clear. Why? Don't you feel flattered? In fact, why don't you leave the child with me and go back alone to get me a doughnut, he joked. I looked for sarcasm in his tone. But he had an amused smile. Go enjoy it. It's not everyday that someone is going to flirt with a happily married mother in her thirties.
Now as I got bustling around the house, I stopped to look at myself in front of the mirror. Not bad, I beheld. Yes there were a few extra kilos that I'd like gone and yes, I could do with a facial and a manicure. But it often takes an external stimulus to remind us to love ourselves for who we are. I vowed to make more space, spend more time for myself, to do more of what I loved to do. Not in the hope that another man would notice me, but for me to notice myself more often!
I moved to the dairy section and the same thing happened. The man was flirting! Gaawwd. Can it still happen to me? Dressed in a casual tee, dirty sneakers, no make-up? To a five foot one inch Indian woman in her mid-thirties? I felt like clapping my hands in glee; with the discovery that I still had it in me! Hilarious, I told myself. Enough, my conscience opposed. The man appears far older. He's not even that good looking. And probably desperate. Is that so flattering after all? Suddenly I didn't know where to look.
I checked out, got back home still flushed, sat myself down with a glass of water and laughed. I remembered a similar incident a couple of years ago. We'd recently moved to Germany and on one of our earliest travels within the country, I took my daughter to a bakery to buy a doughnut. The young Sri Lankan man behind the counter flirted with me brazenly even with the kid in my arms. I walked back to my husband shaking my head, and reported what had happened, wondering how he would react. Would he be angry with the Sri Lankan? See the man's nerves, I added, just to make my position clear. Why? Don't you feel flattered? In fact, why don't you leave the child with me and go back alone to get me a doughnut, he joked. I looked for sarcasm in his tone. But he had an amused smile. Go enjoy it. It's not everyday that someone is going to flirt with a happily married mother in her thirties.
Now as I got bustling around the house, I stopped to look at myself in front of the mirror. Not bad, I beheld. Yes there were a few extra kilos that I'd like gone and yes, I could do with a facial and a manicure. But it often takes an external stimulus to remind us to love ourselves for who we are. I vowed to make more space, spend more time for myself, to do more of what I loved to do. Not in the hope that another man would notice me, but for me to notice myself more often!
