My father has had this amusing system of allotting 'marks' denoting his level of approval of places, people and things. In his unique system there is no upper limit. You can score 10,000 out of 100 if he likes what you do :-) Besides, scoring is spontaneous and dynamic, with marks fluctuating at his will. I cannot say how much I enjoy his report card evaluation.
I find his scoring of Bobo chan's behaviour most amusing. There cannot be a more appropriate example of favoritism. Haha. There is virtually no objectivity. No matter how much Bobo cries or troubles me, her report card never gets a red mark. Sometimes he threatens her that he will mark her down, but when we are leaving his house, or he's leaving ours, the marks jar is always full and overflowing.
I find myself scoring her performance too. But she never gets nearly the same marks from me as her Ajoba allots her. May be because I'm a mother, and find it harder to evaluate the joys while totally blocking out the trials that come along. Or may be I'm simply not as generous a person as he is :-) Or may be Bobo chan has seen through his system and conveniently tries everything to impress him. What a thought, hahaha!! Aai on the other hand is 'ghar ki murgi'. How does it matter what she scores her, or doesn't! She can't get away from her, and vice versa. What do you say? :-)
Friday, September 23, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Learning some, teaching some
My little daughter has been teaching me a few lessons in virtue, just as she is learning from me about the world around her.
Some examples:
1) Early to bed and early to rise. The basic lesson. Further, get up when you are awake. Don't keep lying around in bed.
2) Eat only when you are hungry. Stop eating the moment you are full. No overeating please!
3) Have an open, scientific curiousity about everything around you. No inhibitions, try everything, fearlessly.
4) If you don't like something, say it. If you love something, express it with uninhibited affection and smiles. No hypocrisy.
If babies come to life with these simple virtues, I wonder at what stage social conditioning turns them into the adults that we have become. The human mind sets us apart from animals, at the same time makes us the calculative, cunning individuals that we are. We are just as straightforward as animals when we are born. But as we grow up, our 'habits' change, our living standards deteriorate, our inquisitiveness gives way to cynicism, and love and affection becomes conditional and reciprocative! Children are capable of demonstrating that life can be as simple as we want it to be. If only. Sigh!
Some examples:
1) Early to bed and early to rise. The basic lesson. Further, get up when you are awake. Don't keep lying around in bed.
2) Eat only when you are hungry. Stop eating the moment you are full. No overeating please!
3) Have an open, scientific curiousity about everything around you. No inhibitions, try everything, fearlessly.
4) If you don't like something, say it. If you love something, express it with uninhibited affection and smiles. No hypocrisy.
If babies come to life with these simple virtues, I wonder at what stage social conditioning turns them into the adults that we have become. The human mind sets us apart from animals, at the same time makes us the calculative, cunning individuals that we are. We are just as straightforward as animals when we are born. But as we grow up, our 'habits' change, our living standards deteriorate, our inquisitiveness gives way to cynicism, and love and affection becomes conditional and reciprocative! Children are capable of demonstrating that life can be as simple as we want it to be. If only. Sigh!
Monday, September 12, 2011
Pearly whites
Nothing has pleased me more in recent time than the appearance of two little shiny pearls in Bobo's bottom gums. I'm so hoping that the teething madness of the last few days will finally be behind us. Of course there will be more teeth and perhaps more troubles, but now that I have lived through part I, subsequent parts can only confine to the law of marginal utility - of that I am certain!
It has also been pretty miraculous - this emergence of the two little nooks. Bobo's appetite has returned, the sleep routine is pretty much back on track and the fussiness is settling down. The 'destructive streaks' (mauling, tearing, excess energy foot banging, etc) that were making me more and more aghast each time have given way to loving looks, occasional caresses and generally, brighter days!
Whoever made this universe (and I do not want to become a sitting duck for debate on this topic AGAIN), certainly didn't think through these initial stages in a new human life. First it's colic, as that dies down there comes teething, not to mention stranger anxiety, separation anxiety, and who can forget weaning! Then of course man-made disasters such as school will strike. Poor little babies. How oblivious they seem to be to what lies ahead.
Anyway, enough of rambling. For now, we are celebrating the pearly whites. Two new toys, a variety of foods and lots of hugs and kisses :)
It has also been pretty miraculous - this emergence of the two little nooks. Bobo's appetite has returned, the sleep routine is pretty much back on track and the fussiness is settling down. The 'destructive streaks' (mauling, tearing, excess energy foot banging, etc) that were making me more and more aghast each time have given way to loving looks, occasional caresses and generally, brighter days!
Whoever made this universe (and I do not want to become a sitting duck for debate on this topic AGAIN), certainly didn't think through these initial stages in a new human life. First it's colic, as that dies down there comes teething, not to mention stranger anxiety, separation anxiety, and who can forget weaning! Then of course man-made disasters such as school will strike. Poor little babies. How oblivious they seem to be to what lies ahead.
Anyway, enough of rambling. For now, we are celebrating the pearly whites. Two new toys, a variety of foods and lots of hugs and kisses :)
Friday, September 9, 2011
Crying it out?
The daughter has been giving me an awful lot of trouble sleeping these past few days. She simply refuses to close her eyes. In fact far from it! To be able to sleep, a human being would typically need to 'decide' that s/he wants to sleep, then relax and if s/he is really sleepy allow at least a couple of minutes for the sweet nothing-ness to take over.
Here we have a situation where first, we do not want to sleep (ever, if we can help it), two, we will not lie down (we are a compulsive sitter as Mum likes to call us), third, we will simply not allow ourselves to relax so there is no chance at all that we can hit the bed for a few hours and catch up on our zzzzz's.
I have spent harrowing days (and nights) making her sleep four times a day for hours on end each time. This does not of course reflect on how long she sleeps after that! This morning I'd run out of everything - patience, ideas, energy, and what have you, and decided it was time for me to try out Ferber's approach of letting a baby cry itself to sleep. I'd sort of decided I'm never going to do it if I could help it, but today was simply one of those mornings!
I watched her howl and howl and howl more and wail and wail and wail for at least 10 minutes. Tell you what, it simply broke my heart and that is the biggest understatement ever. Finally nursed her to sleep, came out of the room and cried my own eyes out for longer than she did. At the end of the whole session, pulled myself together and decided I would just go in and sleep beside her. Which is what I intended to do when I entered the room, and guess what I saw (no prizes for guessing that!).
Here we have a situation where first, we do not want to sleep (ever, if we can help it), two, we will not lie down (we are a compulsive sitter as Mum likes to call us), third, we will simply not allow ourselves to relax so there is no chance at all that we can hit the bed for a few hours and catch up on our zzzzz's.
I have spent harrowing days (and nights) making her sleep four times a day for hours on end each time. This does not of course reflect on how long she sleeps after that! This morning I'd run out of everything - patience, ideas, energy, and what have you, and decided it was time for me to try out Ferber's approach of letting a baby cry itself to sleep. I'd sort of decided I'm never going to do it if I could help it, but today was simply one of those mornings!
I watched her howl and howl and howl more and wail and wail and wail for at least 10 minutes. Tell you what, it simply broke my heart and that is the biggest understatement ever. Finally nursed her to sleep, came out of the room and cried my own eyes out for longer than she did. At the end of the whole session, pulled myself together and decided I would just go in and sleep beside her. Which is what I intended to do when I entered the room, and guess what I saw (no prizes for guessing that!).
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Angootha chhap!
Bobo's passport documents were finally in order and the husband got the bunch of forms over for us to sign, and for our daughter's thumb impression!! Hahahaha!! What the government of India will achieve by using thumb imprints of an 8-month old totally beats me but whatever the rule!
I think I bought an 'ink pad' for the first time in my life My husband, who has been used to seeing his father use one, says the tin packaging hasn't changed even slightly since he remembers the product. Anyway, we got all prepared with the papers, ink pad and got Bobo on to the scene. Made her sit in his lap while I took up the responsibility of presenting the paper.
The first reaction from the baby was that of awe. As always, her eyes rounded up, face lit up and mischief showed itself on her expression. But then she realised she was not going to get a free-hand, but that Aai and Baba were going to make her do something forcibly. She not being of the types who relents to such force and confinement, even those two minutes of 'thumbing' some ten pages of passport forms was sheer agony. Anyway, all is well that ends well - in this case it ended in a blue right thumb, small and uneven prints on about ten pages, and a bundle of forms waiting to make it to the Indian passport office.
I think I bought an 'ink pad' for the first time in my life My husband, who has been used to seeing his father use one, says the tin packaging hasn't changed even slightly since he remembers the product. Anyway, we got all prepared with the papers, ink pad and got Bobo on to the scene. Made her sit in his lap while I took up the responsibility of presenting the paper.
The first reaction from the baby was that of awe. As always, her eyes rounded up, face lit up and mischief showed itself on her expression. But then she realised she was not going to get a free-hand, but that Aai and Baba were going to make her do something forcibly. She not being of the types who relents to such force and confinement, even those two minutes of 'thumbing' some ten pages of passport forms was sheer agony. Anyway, all is well that ends well - in this case it ended in a blue right thumb, small and uneven prints on about ten pages, and a bundle of forms waiting to make it to the Indian passport office.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Sun hat and poetic justice
Made a sun hat for Bobo today. After about two days of surfing the internet for tutorials, patterns, ideas and about two hours of going over each and every piece of fabric in my collection, I finally decided what to make and how to make it. What remained then was to squeeze in the requisite peaceful time.
Both Bobo and her Dad slept off in the afternoon allowing me just what I needed. I got to work furiously and after a really well-timed affair, finished the hat just before the munchkin woke up and cried for her afternoon meal of cerelac.
I always chide myself for not resting when I get the time, and then complaining of fatigue and exertion. When two-thirds of the family in the house was asleep, there was honestly nothing stopping me from getting my shut-eye. But that's not who I am. The creative satisfaction that I got from completing my project and executing it to perfection was a lot more valuable than a few minutes' worth of sleep. But what really took the cake was seeing the newly crafted hat sit daintily on Bobo's head.
Watching my little daughter in my own creation has always been a priceless moment for me. It was then that it suddenly hit me... it was so meant for me to have a daughter. It felt almost like poetic justice, because I simply failed to see it before! Not that I would not have carried forth my pursuits had it been a boy, but now I am literally spoilt for choice on options - clothes, accessories, you name it! And who knows, just like I took over the 'craftiness' from my own mother, someday my little girl might take it over from me!!
Both Bobo and her Dad slept off in the afternoon allowing me just what I needed. I got to work furiously and after a really well-timed affair, finished the hat just before the munchkin woke up and cried for her afternoon meal of cerelac.
I always chide myself for not resting when I get the time, and then complaining of fatigue and exertion. When two-thirds of the family in the house was asleep, there was honestly nothing stopping me from getting my shut-eye. But that's not who I am. The creative satisfaction that I got from completing my project and executing it to perfection was a lot more valuable than a few minutes' worth of sleep. But what really took the cake was seeing the newly crafted hat sit daintily on Bobo's head.
Watching my little daughter in my own creation has always been a priceless moment for me. It was then that it suddenly hit me... it was so meant for me to have a daughter. It felt almost like poetic justice, because I simply failed to see it before! Not that I would not have carried forth my pursuits had it been a boy, but now I am literally spoilt for choice on options - clothes, accessories, you name it! And who knows, just like I took over the 'craftiness' from my own mother, someday my little girl might take it over from me!!
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