Time and tide...

I walked into our local supermarket the other day, picked up the basket, brought up my 'list' on the mobile and began to pile in the groceries. It took me a while to realise (and fathom) that a tall, Dutch man was sort of looking at me. Later, I was evaluating breakfast cereals when he came up, excused himself, brought a box down from the top shelf and then, hold your breath, flashed me the sweetest smile. I returned it, unsure of what was happening. I had to appear composed and hide the blush that I was worried was appearing on my face.

I moved to the dairy section and the same thing happened. The man was flirting! Gaawwd. Can it still happen to me? Dressed in a casual tee, dirty sneakers, no make-up? To a five foot one inch Indian woman in her mid-thirties? I felt like clapping my hands in glee; with the discovery that I still had it in me! Hilarious, I told myself. Enough, my conscience opposed. The man appears far older. He's not even that good looking. And probably desperate. Is that so flattering after all? Suddenly I didn't know where to look.

I checked out, got back home still flushed, sat myself down with a glass of water and laughed. I remembered a similar incident a couple of years ago. We'd recently moved to Germany and on one of our earliest travels within the country, I took my daughter to a bakery to buy a doughnut. The young Sri Lankan man behind the counter flirted with me brazenly even with the kid in my arms. I walked back to my husband shaking my head, and reported what had happened, wondering how he would react. Would he be angry with the Sri Lankan? See the man's nerves, I added, just to make my position clear. Why? Don't you feel flattered? In fact, why don't you leave the child with me and go back alone to get me a doughnut, he joked. I looked for sarcasm in his tone. But he had an amused smile. Go enjoy it. It's not everyday that someone is going to flirt with a happily married mother in her thirties.

Now as I got bustling around the house, I stopped to look at myself in front of the mirror. Not bad, I beheld. Yes there were a few extra kilos that I'd like gone and yes, I could do with a facial and a manicure. But it often takes an external stimulus to remind us to love ourselves for who we are. I vowed to make more space, spend more time for myself, to do more of what I loved to do. Not in the hope that another man would notice me, but for me to notice myself more often!

Book Review: The Girl Next Door by Elizabeth Noble

I am suddenly back into the reading habit. It feels great because I have been away from books for so long. Did catch a few on the Kindle but the smell, feel, texture and romance of physical books... umm.. that's something else.

The Girl Next Door is the story of the inhabitants of a specific building in Manhattan. What better setting to produce the story of intertwining lives than that! The story starts off a bit tediously as Nobel begins to describe each household in detail. Albeit, the characters are very articulately developed and I remember hardly any titles where the nuances in human relationships are so beautifully captured and described.

As a reader, you are aware that the characters will start to cross ways soon enough but how and when? Then mid-way the pace picks up as the reader is cleverly led from one story into another and the connections start to get clearer.

The last part of the book is rather cliched and the author's temptation to take every story to a 'happily ever after' stage is not very appealing. In real life, and that's what the book's characters are - very realistic, people don't necessarily end up tying all the loose ends. That is where the book fails to impress, according to me.

My rating: 3 out of 5

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

The saying can't be more right for me. I am now ensconced in the Netherlands. Have to admit that I feel far far better than I ever felt away from home. Eindhoven is a lively, beautiful city that casts a friendly net on its inhabitants. It is so much easier to live (peacefully) than it ever was in Stuttgart. 

But with every passing day I crave for my own. My family, my homeland, my people, my way of life. On some days the distance crosses my mind, lingers on and drifts away. On others, and these are not necessarily the bad days, it fills me up and refuses to go away. My heart aches, the eyes swell up and my legs look for support.

Moving abroad seemed an exciting prospect when it was proposed. It would give my husband the much needed career fillip and international exposure, an investment for a better future. It was a 'head' decision. Economics simply outweighed any other parameter in the decision making process. But when we began life afresh on the new soil, it has always been the heart, thrashing about for attention, clamouring for its rightful position, shouting out bloody neglect.

We moved from Germany to the Netherlands for better prospects - an international school, lower language barriers, better housing. But what hasn't changed is the constant longing for home. If I may say so, it has only increased. 

People tell me if I stay here long enough, the heartache will reduce and I will get more comfortable. Time heals everything, I know that. But then time simply makes the ordeal less unpleasant, trying to smooth out wrinkles but it never takes away the pain completely. 

I am simply not the one to live with this heartache. Perhaps I am just not made for foreign shores. 

I'm hardly settled here but I can't wait to start packing and move back to India! Please let the sun rise on that day soon soon soon!

Passport renewal - Indian Embassy at Munich

Sometimes, one sets expectations based on past experiences of your own and of others around you. When significantly lowered expectations are met, the result is happiness. However, when they are exceeded beyond imagination, the consequence is elation! Our passport renewal experience from the Indian Embassy at Munich was one such refreshing, surprisingly smooth experience.

We (my husband and I)applied using the online application process detailed on the website. There is a jurisdiction set up for each area, so better check on the site on where exactly you would need to apply based on where in Germany you are located. After a call to the Embassy that was courteously answered, we learnt that there is no need to set up an appointment. One can walk in and submit the documents Mon to Fri between 0930 and 1230. The old passport need not be submitted along with the documents.

We reached early on a Tuesday, hoping that we would not need too much time. However, there were only two other people and our work was done within fifteen minutes. The officer at the window was extremely polite and helped us very patiently through an additional declaration that we needed to write out for endorsement of spouse names in each other's passports. We paid the fees and submitted self attested copies of all the required documents - passport including first and last pages and latest German visa, address proof (only in my case as I was requesting a change in address), marriage certificate copy and photograph of marriage (for spouse name endorsement). We also had to submit two passport photographs (5 cm x 5 cm size against a light or white background). We were told that we would receive a call within three to four weeks after our new passports were ready and either of us could come to submit the old passports for cancellation and pick up the new ones immediately.

I learnt that there is no formal tracking system but did not expect much trouble since all our documents were in order. After all, an Indian who manages to get through a German visa can hardly be expected to be cheating on his passport documents!

In EXACTLY three weeks, we received the said call from the Embassy notifying us that the passports were ready. I went down to Munich two days later and collected the new passports. The same gentleman who had accepted our documents chatted with me at the window as he worked to cancel our old passports. I was out of the office within five minutes.

A cold foggy day in Munich rendered warm by the friendly and courteous staff. A hassle-free experience due to the efficient, timely processing. What more can you ask for? I was elated to be served in this fashion, when in fact, I should have expected it in the first place. We, Indians, have a way of demeaning our people and our nation for no reason sometimes. A practice I must stop following!

Useful links:
Embassy website - Munich
http://www.cgimunich.com/

Online passport application form (common for all NRIs)
https://passport.gov.in/nri/Online.do

Fussy Fruit Eater Recipes - Oats - Apple - Almond Kheer

My daughter has become an incredibly fussy fruit eater since we have landed in Germany. Partly, I don't blame her. She loved fruits like fresh figs, chickoos, small velchi bananas in India that are not so widely available here. Besides, she hates the whole citrus group, which leaves her with very little choice - bananas, apples, occasionally melons. She won't touch pears or strawberries or grapes :((

Consequently, I'm constantly on the look out for recipes to which I can add fruits. And like a whole host of mothers out there, I have to cheat to up the nutritional quotient of food. It makes me very proud when I succeed :)

Here's a recipe that she digs. The fibre from the oats, fruity sweetness of apples and the goodness of almonds makes it a winner for her and for me!

Oats - Apple - Almond Kheer 

Ingredients:
3 tsp oats
1/4 apple
3 tsp sugar
2 tsp almond powder
1/2 cup water
1 cup milk
a small pinch of cardamom powder

Method:
Heat a vessel and add the oats. Dry roast them for a minute or so until they release a roasty aroma and then add water. Stir frequently. Add sugar. Adjust the taste of sugar according to how sweet the apple is, or how much sweet your little one likes. When the oats start to cook, add the milk. I find adding water and letting it boil before adding the milk makes the oats cook faster. Add the cardamom powder and almond powder and cook for about 3-4 minutes, stirring well. Add the apple - grated or cut into small pieces depending on your choice. Don't cook the kheer too much after adding the apple. Done. Serve it to your little one and see it go down quickly! :)

Variation
You could add bananas, strawberries, pears, chopped dates, walnut powder or even serve it up without fruits!

Until 35

I realise that I haven't been particularly happy with my life over the last few months. The reasons are many and I do not want to get into those here. Ironically, I am in a new land and there is so much that's 'new' in life. Ideally there should be no space for boredom but my own motivation to make the most of the situation is not exactly sky-rocketing!

Inspired by a post that I read on facebook, I've decided to create some excitement, vowed to live by a new pledge to keep me going. Further, I think I already do a lot for others around so I've decided that this is going to be about 'me'. About doing things that make me feel good inside.

So here's my new campaign: "Until 35". And what it entails is that I am going to target the following until my next birthday, when I turn 35:
- I want to see 35 new places
- I want to find 35 ocassions for pampering myself
- I want to find 35 things that I like about myself and my life
- I want to make 35 new things - could be food, or other
- I want to gift something to 35 people with the intention of simply feeling good

I intend to build this list as well as populate it as I go along. But then it has to be flexible enough to allow me to have fun too. The last thing I would want is another binding! My new diary to record notes is ready and I feel so electrified already!

The one thing I don't miss about home

Today is Ganesh Chaturthi. There's no way to forget that, is there? Of course there is that Kalnirnay calendar hanging in my kitchen. And then there are scores of posts on social networking sites which ensure you are constantly reminded. Photos, chants and celebrations galore.

This is the time of the year when I would be fuming. At the loud music, at the so-called festival enthusiasm all around, the chants of bappa moraya and the utter waste of money and resources that goes around all over the place. Step out on the streets and there are these people dressed in their finest waiting to make merry at the cost of overall social peace. I pity every year the infants, the old, the ill, the minorities (including atheists like me), birds, dogs, cats and the cattle. I hate to imagine what people do in case of eventualities with clogged roads and unconcerned crowds.

I find no sense of enjoyment in putting together plaster of paris with environmentally unfriendly colors and then dumping them into our water resources. I find no serenity in those loud aartis with no relevance to modern life. I find the hypocrisy even where there is a pertinence unbearable. As a strong follower of Lokmanya Tilak and his preachings, I feel that this is one instance in which he failed to see the Frankenstein his creation would turn into.

To tell you the truth I have come to hate this festival over the years. And this is perhaps motivated by, but in no measure exclusively becoming from, my agnostic tendencies.

Here in Germany this year, I look out the window into glorious sunshine and hear my heart beat. A moment that would have been unimaginable back in my own country this day every lunar year. I know for sure it is one thing I will NEVER miss about not being back home.

Disclaimer: these views and opinions are my own. There is no intention to harm anyone's religious sentiments. I would not dare to do that, would I?

Keeping your house - and street - clean in Germany

I learnt when I moved to Stuttgart about the (rather strange) tradition of "Kehrwoche". There is perhaps no literal translation of the term but it means "cleaning week". A Swabian tradition that puts each household responsible for the cleanliness in the apartment for that particular week. And that means sweeping the stairways or wiping the window panes or shoveling the snow off the entrance, the household takes care of it all during that week.

I come from a country where labour is so abundant that for a few rupees all of this would be taken care of by someone else. Cleaning your house too is a job that is done only if the household help does not arrive. Given this, it felt rather strange initially to be put in charge of cleaning. But it took one week of doing the job to see that it wasn't so bad after all. In fact, it was easy to see that it would increase social responsibility and boost overall levels of cleanliness, as well as a collective sense of responsibility.

I reluctantly changed my mind in just a few weeks after our first Kehrwoche. I realised that hardly anyone actually does it in our apartment block, let alone meticulously. I have been keeping a watch on the state of the building just to find no change in it for days on end. My own motivation to clean has, not surprisingly, gone down rapidly since the first kehrwoche. What a pity that in a country known for its strict, upright way of life, the tradition of kehrwoche has turned into mere lipservice!

In the last few days I had reason to justify a further deteriorated opinion of the so called attitude to cleanliness. The family who lived in the house below ours shifted out last week. On their last day here, they put together all the trash that they did not need in a heap on the pavement outside our building and just left! For a whole two days after that, several people came and picked up stuff that they wanted from this heap - toys, baby gear, electronic equipment, utensils. This happened round the clock - even at 4 am (wonder if it was so that no one would notice them doing that). They also did not do it nicely - they ripped apart bags and threw away what they didn't need right there on the street. I just wish I had clicked a picture of the dirty mess that was the result.

How disappointing that both those who left the trash and those who dug through it did not care about the consequences of their actions. Of course, no one will come to clean that street and over time the trash will dissipate due to the rain or wind. Thankfully it was not my turn at kehrwoche, for if it had been, I would have surely been extremely disturbed about it.

Amazong?

Anyone who uses Amazon knows what value it brings to our lives. Undoubtedly. I have picked up gems and ended up with unbelievable bargains myself. But all is not always rosy, ain't it?

I want to recount a rather strange incident involving Amazon.

My sister recently gifted us a Kindle. Then she also gifted me some ebooks on the Kindle. One of those ebooks she paid for was 'not available in Germany'. Amazon then offered me the option of converting the value equivalent of the book into a gift voucher. Left with no choice, I went for it.

I almost forgot about that credit until I got a great book recommendation from a cousin's wife and decided to purchase it online against my voucher. To my dismay, I was compulsorily directed to amazon.de to purchase the book but the German site would not allow me to redeem my voucher since it was one issued by amazon.com and not .de.

For the last two days I have been writing emails to Amazon's customer service and trying to get this changed to no avail. Basically it means that my sister can't get back the money in the UK. I can't redeem the amount here in Germany. Purchasing from the US-based site and getting it shipped makes no sense whatsoever. What a waste!

I'm really amazed at this strangest policy from Amazon. Fair enough that they encounter tax/VAT based problems if they transfer credit across countries but I read on some forums about many other people facing similar issues. Surely there can be a better way to handle this? If the site automatically detects my location, then why can't my account be automatically credited to be used only on amazon.de?

My brother-in-law suggested that may be someone from the US could login to my account and try to redeem the amount. I am yet to try that out with the hope that Amazon may still offer me a solution. However, if anyone has a better idea, do comment!

Dreams are made of this stuff...

I keep wondering why I assumed that Austria would be just like Germany. Consequently I expected to derive similar value from the capital of Austria. I owe the city a huge apology. It not only proved me wrong but it also gave me an incredibly beautiful treat on the first day of the tour. I think it was all the more magical because it happened to be my birthday.

The city has surprises in store at each corner. Literally. Breathtakingly lovely monuments with awe-inspiring facades, palatially wide streets, a deep-rooted cultural history that makes it the legendary stuff that dreams are made up of. Oh how we marveled and oomphed and just roamed the city awe-struck, re-discovering love together the whole day! No amount of photos could capture that feeling!

At each turn when we thought there cannot be anything more beautiful, there was another and yet another. The domkirche, various fountains, opera house, imperial palace complex, minoritykirch, parliament building, war memorial, university - a beautiful city with modern transport, lush green and spotlessly clean, and new architecture that blends into the old with surprising ease.

I loved loved loved this place. Thank you Vienna for that unforgettable birthday experience!